Making a first impression

It’s always so exiting to meet new people. It might be a job interview, a blind date or maybe you’re seeing your gf’s / bf’s parents the first time. But first impressions are strong. The people you meet will always remember you for what you said and how you behaved the first time they saw you. So there are a few things you might want to skip when trying to make a good first impression.

You know the moment when you’re at your gf’s parents and after lunch her mother asks you how many kids would you like to have or have you planned having kids in the future. Whatever comes in your mind then, don’t blurt out “actually I’m planning to get sterilized as soon as I turn 30. But thanks anyway. How’s your hemorrhoids?” BZZZT, wrong answer!

Or how about a job interview. You dress up nicely, looking very professional, leave home in good time, listen some radio on the way just to get relaxed a bit. And boom! You hear some stupid (or maybe too good) song that’ll stick in your head and you just can’t help humming it the rest of the day. Next you know it you’re sitting in a waiting room to go to the interview and you’re humming the same freaking song. Ok, no worries. You’re safe with “I will survive”. And you’ll probably manage with “Wake me up before you go-go” if you don’t do it too loud. But boy, aren’t you in trouble if it’s something like Lily Allen’s “F*ck you”. It a cheery tune alright, but the lyrics…

I think that in general it’s better to regret things you’ve done instead of regretting the things you’ve left undone. But trust me, getting too drunk on a first date is not a good thing to do (and to regret). First you nervously down a few too quick and end up giggling girlishly to the green elf on the beer mat with the eventual outcome that your date will look you a bit slow. And maybe then they’ll just leave. Running. “Wait, can I still call you…?”

I went on an important business dinner once. It was a fine dining Michelin star restaurant and we had a five course dinner. Wow! you think. That sounds great! Well it wasn’t, I’ll tell you. I’m a picky eater to say the least. I mean a really, really picky eater. So even if the food actually tasted great, the menu was very challenging for me. The duck breast was so raw that it practically still moved. And the duck liver mousse, omg! Do you know why all mammals have liver, what its function is? Well, I do!

I was so embarrassed of myself. Like, my favorite dish is a plate of mightydog for crying out loud! A plate of mightydog is what you get when you leave yesterdays food in the fridge for the night in a plastic container. Later you turn it over on a plate to get it microwaved and the food still stays in the exact shape of the plastic box. If there was something written on the bottom of the box, you can read it from the top of your food. Bonus points you get from an even yellowish-brownish colour. Mightydog can often be found from an office canteen too. Jolly good.