it's good to be a woman!

[lytehouse]

(Just thought these were funny, so I wanted to share. Hope no one gets offended.....)

1. we got off the Titanic first
2. we can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorders
3. we don't look like a frog in a blender when we dance
4. no fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo
5. we don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves
6. if we forget to shave, no one has to know
7. we can congratulate our teammates without touching her a**
8. we NEVER have to reach down to make sure our privates are still there and in place
9. we can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked
10. we know that there are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems
11. and we can make silly comments about men in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway!

[jsw4178]

LOL. great post!

Originally Posted by lytehouse

(Just thought these were funny, so I wanted to share. Hope no one gets offended.....)

1. we got off the Titanic first
2. we can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorders
3. we don't look like a frog in a blender when we dance
4. no fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo
5. we don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves
6. if we forget to shave, no one has to know
7. we can congratulate our teammates without touching her a**
8. we NEVER have to reach down to make sure our privates are still there and in place
9. we can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked
10. we know that there are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems
11. and we can make silly comments about men in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway!

[Steph]

LOL thats cute. Best is making sure the private are still there and in place....whats up with that?!?!

[Ozfazer6]

Originally Posted by Fz6Steph

LOL thats cute. Best is making sure the private are still there and in place....whats up with that?!?!

They have a mind of their own you know

[Ozfazer6]

Originally Posted by lytehouse

1. we got off the Titanic first A woman was driving
2. we can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disordersCheating
3. we don't look like a frog in a blender when we danceDependant on alchol content
4. no fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the SpeedoBridgette Jones enormous pants
5. we don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselvesYou should try it
6. if we forget to shave, no one has to knowBut you would tell us anyway
7. we can congratulate our teammates without touching her a**You dont know what your missing
8. we NEVER have to reach down to make sure our privates are still there and in placeSee above
9. we can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them nakedNo imagination
10. we know that there are times when chocolate really can solve all your problemsExcept weight gain
11. and we can make silly comments about men in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway!Sorry did you say something

Its good to be a man

[MisterX]

And the benefits of being a man are as follows:

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
5. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
6. The garage is all yours.
7. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
8. Chocolate is just another snack.
9. You can be president.
10. You can wear white T-shirt to a water park.
11. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
12. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
13. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
14. You can open all your own jars.
15. You never have to drive to another gas station because this ones just too icky.
16. Same work.. more pay.
17. Wrinkles add character.
18. Wedding dress 5,000; Tux rental 100.
19. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
20. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
21. One mood ALL the damn time.
22. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
23. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
24. You can leave the motel bed undone.
25. You can kill your own food.
26. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be our friend.
28. Your underwear is 8.95 for a three-pack.
29. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
30. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
31. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."
32. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
33. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
34. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
35. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
36. You almost never have strap problems in public.
37. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
38. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
39. You don't have to shave below your neck.
40. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
41. You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
42. You have the freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
43. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, December 24th, in 45 minutes.
44. The world is your urinal.



X

[lytehouse]

wow MisterX....you put alot of time into that!

But thank you.....it was very funny!

[aussiejules]

Its all brought a smile to my face so far

[Wolfman]

Both lists are awesome! Totalt politically incorrect...but true in so many ways. Lol...

[lonesoldier84]

*gets sex change*


heyyyyyyyyy